I don't know if I've learned how...

How do you cope?

This is a very good question. I have no idea some days how I make it through and cope. I just take my time week by week, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, or moment by moment. It's how you live life in general. You do what  you have to for survival and to make it through good times and bad.  Good times, of course, are easier at make it through. Bad times, are much harder.

Before, I had family and friends to rely and lean on. That support helped me immensely to make it through. It didn't seem as daunting with a good support system.  I think that is something essential to coping and making it through this horrible disease.  I don't have that system any longer. Many of the people have turned their backs on me. It's been too long for them. They don't believe I could possibly still be sick. So, I lost that strong support system. Now, I have myself and a few select people who are still there for me. I have learned that I have to be my best support system. I've learned you can rely truly, 100% rely on yourself. Others can always let you down or turn on you. But you yourself will always be there.

I have learned to that doing things that I enjoy will relax me and help me cope during some of my tougher times or pain. I have learned to craft and do loom caps and scarves. I really enjoy this activity and can do it for hours. It gets my mind off my own worried and onto something more hopeful. I want to get good enough that I can start donating my caps and scarves to the hospital or maybe the cancer society. Somewhere that it can help people out.

I have also learned to cope by realizing that even though this disease is horrible, there are people who go through much worse. There are people in more pain, in more despair, in a more daunting experience. I am very lucky. I, by the grace of God, wake up each day and can be thankful that I am alive. I am recovering and feel better most days. On the days I don't feel so good, then I am thankful that I am alive to feel bad.

Never, never give up is my motto I live by. Coping just has to be something I do because I will not allow myself to give up.