I've been thinking a lot about my first round with Cushing's a lot lately. My endocrinologist has me tapering off of hydrocortisone in order to re-test me and see if I have another tumor and if I have active Cushing's again. From the way things are going so far, it appears that my left adrenal gland is not waking up and starting to work at all. It should have started working long before now. I'm really worried about what might be happening inside of me. I don't want to go through this all again, but the symptoms are there again. I have sweating spells where I am drenched in sweat for no reason. I can just be sitting on the couch, not doing anything and this will happen. I have noticed muscle and joint pain and weakness getting really bad again. My weight is going up for no apparent reason. I'm not eating bad. In fact, I have gotten my blood sugar under control finally and sometimes my problem is going too low instead of too high. I have been getting more active because I was feeling better and had improved pain relief. Now, that isn't true anymore. I am really tired and in a lot of pain again.
What will happen to me and my kids if I have Cushing's and another tumor AGAIN??? I don't have a huge support system anymore. I don't know how I will do it this time. I'm scared for all of us. My mother is terrific and does so much for us already. I know she would do anything in the world for us. I love her so much. I want to be the one being there for her. I want to be well enough to take care of her. I don't want to be sick anymore. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Some days you just have "one of those days". You know, the kind of day that no matter what you do it doesn't seem like things go right at all? Well, I feel like that today. Most of the things I have tried today have been bad. My daughter is still sick. We have to go to a couple of doctors and work out treatment plans for her. We have to get her better. I have to be able to take care of her and see her through this difficult time in her life. My son is still sick also. After his first allergic reaction last week, we have had to watch what he eats very closely. We have his Epi pen, just in case another allergic reaction happens. We are waiting on his appointment with his pediatrician to refer us to an allergist. Then we can figure out exactly what he is allergic her. I have to be here for him. I have to get him through this. This is my job as his mother and my extreme joy and pleasure to help him get better. My mom has also had some medical problems that I need to be there for her. She has done so much for me and been there for me so many times. It the least I can do to be there to support her. I love my mom and my kids so much.
I don't have time to have Cushing's take over my life again. This just can't be happening again. So, my final thought for today.... Please pray for us all. Thank you.
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