Insomnia is evil.  It goes along with Cushing's, but it is evil.  It's 1:45 am and my family is asleep.  I however, cannot sleep.  I'm tired and wish I could, but as soon as I lay down my mind fills with a million different thought and my eyes fly open.

Two weeks until my surgery.  I'm hoping everything will go well and I will be able to have the surgery.  I want to start recovering from this.  I have talked to a few Cushing's patients now.  The ones who have gone through this surgery say it takes months to feel better.  They say I will feel worse before I feel better.  While I am not looking forward to that aspect of things, I want to feel that to know that I am on the other side of this.  It scares me to be on the "tumor side".  I'm still nervous that they are going to find this tumor to be cancerous.  Then what do I do.  It's been in me for an extra two months.  Has it spread?  Has it grown?  Will it be even harder for the doctor to remove?  These are the things my mind is thinking of.

I have the support of a wonderful group of friends and family, but ultimately it is up to me to make my recovery happen.  I have to work hard and make it through all the times both good and bad.  When I get discouraged I am going to have to make sure I get myself back together and trudge through it all.  I can do this.  I can be a survivor.  I just have to remember what my daddy taught me.  You work hard and make the most of every situation presented to you.  I will survive and recover from Cushing's!!!