Some days are better than others. Today has been a mixture of both.  I made a new friend on Facebook.  She seems to have had some similar problems I am now having, but her case is much worse.  It was good to connect with someone who truly understands what I am going through.  I have a very supportive husband and children.  There are also some of my friends and family that are supportive.  But no one can truly understand what a Cushie goes through except another Cushie.  I am glad that no one else can understand this because it is not fun.  It is very painful. 

I have 16 days until my surgery.  I am both excited and nervous for this to happen.  I am slowly getting things lined up so everything is in order.  I know this is going to still be a long road, I just want to be on the recovery side of this.  I have been fighting for this diagnosis and surgery for nearly two years now.  It was strange to realize that a couple of weeks ago.  I had went to St. Louis for my pre-op visit and they said something about me having these symptoms for two years.  I corrected them, but then thought about it and realized they were correct.  It just seems like such a long time now.

I use a wheelchair to get around my house now most days.  I am too tired and it takes too much energy to walk.  My body is stiff and my limbs just won't cooperate.  I am too prone to panic attacks when I go out in public so I don't go out anymore.  I only go out for doctors appointments and that is very hard and stressful on me.  My husband and I took the kids to the Omaha Zoo a couple of weekends ago and that did it for me.  I had panic attack at zoo and many more on the way home.  I cannot do that anymore.  Have to wait until I can get this all under control.  I am missing my two smallest children's Open House tonight at school because of this.  It is too stressful.  My speech is screwed up and I can't be understood when I speak.  I hate what Cushing's is doing to me.  I want to be a whole, functioning person again.