Friday, March 6, 2015

Insomnia... The sleepless nights that never end......

Insomnia is one of the wonderful things I have experienced on a whole new level with Cushing's. It keeps me up nights and many mornings also. I have had times when I couldn't sleep for a couple of days. I survive on naps of 30 - 45 minute intervals. I have done some great things with my time though. I have read books, update my blog, think up a million and one things I should be doing instead of just searching the internet for something exciting. My mind goes a million miles an hour at night. I know I should be sleeping and I even feel guilty because I'm not. I monitor my blood sugar and stress about not sleeping. Many doctors say you should get 7 - 8 hours of sleep at night in order to have more energy and feel refreshed. I'm tired all the time, so why can't I sleep. It's because my freakin' body is going 90 miles an hour. I have a constant "high" going on. My body is stuck in fight or flight mode.

I had my surgery Oct. 31, 2012. Yet somehow my body doesn't understand that. They removed the tumor and my right adrenal gland. My body doesn't believe it. It tells me it won't accept it. I still have "highs" and my heart rate is still high. A normal heart rate before my surgery was anywhere from 150-180. It has slowed down now. On a good day it is between 80-95. On a bad day it is 100-150. I have to talk to my endo about this when I go to my next appt. in a couple of weeks. My left adrenal gland never started working again and I am on 40 mg of hydrocortisone twice daily. This is the only way I can function. I know other people are able to taper off and that is great, for them.... For me, we have tried time and time again to taper me off. When we get below what I am currently taking, my body gets mad at me and fights back. I end up in the hospital for a week or more at a time. It's not pretty. I get really sick, really weak, and really tired. This is the times when the only thing I can do is SLEEP. It's about the only time I get regular sleep. But then sleep is all I do at those times.

So, it seems like I am stuck with the dilemma.... to sleep or not to sleep.... That is MY question.

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