Depression goes along with Cushing's.  It is very easy to get discouraged and to feel like it's just bad all the time.  I am trying to pull myself out of the depression.  Trying to get out a little more and get some sunshine.  This is difficult because of the heat advisory, but I am trying anyway.  I had a pretty good day yesterday.  The kids were at grandma's so the hubby and I got to spend the day together.  It was nice.  I miss the kids, but it was really nice to have some alone time with my husband. 

As the time get closer to my consultation with my new surgeon I am getting nervous.  I want the time to go quickly and to have the surgery and get better.  But the thought looms that this surgery is not a guarantee that I will be healed and the healing process can be a very long road.  I know I have to keep positive thoughts, but it is difficult sometimes.  I know that the adrenal tumor can be tricky.  Once they remove the adrenal gland, then they have to get my body to level out my cortisol levels along with the other hormones in my body.  I just want this journey to get started again.  Until I see the surgeon I feel like it is at a standstill.  It makes me nervous to just be waiting for something to happen.  I know this can be tricky.  My body has already showed that my liver is at least 5 times the size it is supposed to be.  I don't want to wait until other complications come along that make it impossible for them to do this surgery.  I want a chance to get better.  I want a chance to live.