In doing research I have learned that 10 to 15 people out of every million are diagnosed with Cushing's per year.  Of those, only 2 out of every million get it because of an adrenal gland tumor.  Most cases are from pituitary gland tumors.  I have a 4.6 cm adrenal gland tumor on my right side.  I am fortunate that it was only on one adrenal gland.  Now I am just praying that it is not cancerous and that this surgery will take care of my problems. 

Cushing's has taken a lot from me.  Besides the physical symptoms of the weight gain of 100 pounds (last time I weighed I was around 335 pounds), dizziness, lightheadedness, high blood pressure, diabetes, confusion, shorter memory, memory loss, stiff and sore muscles, limited and decreased mobility, my independence (I have to have help doing even simple tasks now), and the list could go on and on.  The thing I miss the most is the simple things.  I miss going to the park and playing with my kids, shopping, cleaning house, working, and just being able to go for a walk without it being a real struggle.  Also the freedom to not be in constant physical pain. 

I look forward to doing the simple things again.  I know this is going to be a long and slow process but I look forward to the challenge.  I am very scared of it also.  I don't want something to go wrong and my kids to lose another parent.  As my 9 year old tells me, "then I would be an orphan Mommy and I don't want to be an orphan."  This hurts me to think that in my kids short lives (they are 17, 9, and 5) that they have suffered so much and have so many fears.  They have dealt with their grandfather and daddy both dying.  They have a couple of other relatives that are very sick and it scares them.

I am very scared about the outcome of my surgery, but I know without it the results are definate.  Without this surgery, Cushing's will end my life.  So, I face it and will move forward.  I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning.  I will get up early and be at the hospital by 5:30 am.  I will try to keep up with my blog to let everyone know how I am doing.