I lost a few days this week.  My birthday on Friday being the first day.  I remember parts of the day, but was very sick.  I remember my mom and children and husband all getting together and we had lunch. Other than that, the day is a blurr.  I spent most of it passed out in bed. Sicker than I have been this whole time.  Couldn't walk part of the time and ended up using a wheelchair to get to the bathroom a couple of times.  Saturday was the same.  Don't remember but pieces of the day. Pretty sure for a 36 hour window I was out about 34 hours of it with just pieces here and there to go to the bathroom, cry, and hurt.  Very thankful for my family who see me through these times and take care of me.  I didn't eat much of anything. Mainly just survival.

Speaking of eating. My tastes have changed so much that a lot of things don't taste good anymore or they make me sick.  I can't eat chocolate, donuts, cake, and a lot of sweets because they will make me sick.  Plain milk makes me sick, so I can't eat cereal and milk.  I even turned down an ice cream cone tonight because I was afraid it would make me sick.  My snack of choice tonight... ice cubes. I also had some beef broth.  It's kinda funny that my weight is over 300 lbs. and to look at me I am a fat girl who just needs to lose weight by eating better.  My diet today was grape jello, homemade cashew chicken with noodle, beef broth, some pringles potatoe chips, and ice cubes.  There is just something wrong with the fact that I eat like that but have a disease that makes me morbidly obese.  I guess my point is this, don't judge a person by the way they look because you don't know what is really happening with that person.

I am anxiously awaiting tomorrow afternoon.  My husband and I will leave Springfield and stay in St.  Louis overnight.  Then, Tuesday afternoon I get to meet with the surgeon and see if we can do something about this tumor.  I so hope he doesn't think he needs to do a bunch more testing before we just take care of this.  I want the surgery scheduled and done so I can start recovering.  The longer I wait the more afraid I am that I will not recover.  I am still nervous because we still don't know if the tumor is cancerous or not. Many prayers are being said that things go quickly and I can start recovering soon.