There's a crushing feeling on my skull and chest.  It's like someone is standing and has their hands pressed on either side of my skull trying to crush it.  My chest feels like when I stand someone is pressing against me trying to push me down.  The only way to relieve this is to lay down.  That doesn't always work, but it helps some at least.  My legs feel heavy like there are weights and bricks in them.  I am also starting to worry about my bone health.  My right hip is really hurting today and so it the right knee.

I want to know what lesson I am supposed to be learning from all of this.  I certainly don't want to think that I am going through all of this for nothing. So, there must be a lesson that I am supposed to be getting.  Slow down and enjoy life more? Don't judge people by how they look because you don't really know what they are going through?  All good lessons, but is that it or is there some greater lesson?  I just want to know.

I want to get better. I want my strength and health back so I can start living again.  I want to take my children for walks, clean my house, teach my husband how to fish (LOL), and do the little things that are normally taken for granted.  I want to take a shower without it exhausting me and taking over 45 minutes for a basic shower.  I have to take a nap after I take a shower because it is so exhausting. 

Adrenaline rushes are one of the worst symptoms I have experienced so far.  They make my heart race, I get very red, breath very heavy, hard to catch my breath, get very weak, shaky, cold, have difficulty with everything.  I never know when they are going to hit, but when they do there is only one thing I can do.  I go lay down, get covered up, and wait for them to pass.  I have to really concentrate to try to get control of my breathing, once I get control of the breathing I usually go to sleep.  I can sleep from 30 minutes to a couple of hours, it just depends on how bad the rush was.