I am really frustrated today.  I went back to surgeon for checkup.  They were supposed to have my referral information for the surgeon in St. Louis.  I am anxious for this information because this is supposed to be the only surgeon in Missouri that can do this surgery the way I have to have it done.  No appointment set up yet.  I called the surgeon in St. Louis office and they say they still don't have all the information they have requested. Doctors office here says no information has ever been requested.  I feel like I am chasing my tail again.  So, I called surgeon's office, who is the referral office, and ask them to find out for me where everything stands and let me know what information is needed so I can get the ball rolling and get this appointment.  I will call them back tomorrow to find out what needs to be done.  I am going to keep on them to make sure this gets done.  I don't feel I can afford to wait much longer.  If my liver is already 5 times the size it should be, I can't wait forever for them to decide what needs to be done.  Something needs to be done NOW....

I am also frustrated because I am finding out bits and pieces about my hospital stays.  I guess the nurses where questioning my mental stability and if I had a reason to be fearful at home.  I guess they also questioned Joe on if I was suicidal.  This seems odd to me.  Why would I go into the hospital to have a surgery to save my life and get my health back if I were suicidal and not mentally stable?  I don't understand this.  But hearing this certainly made some of the things they were saying to me last Tuesday make more sense.  They were asking me the same questions. If I had a reason to be fearful and didn't feel safe at home.  I thought it was odd at the time.   But having been under anesthesia and all the emotional stress of not having the surgery go as planned, I just chalked the weird questions up to me not really understanding what they were trying to say.  I am just really curious as to what they thought I was in the hospital for.  I had a surgery that was not completed and then they tried to wake me up too quickly while I was still under way too much anesthesia.  This was not me trying to do something strange and unstable.  This was not my fault.  They are the ones who was botching up my health.  How dare they question my mental stability.  I am going to get my medical records to see if I can piece together more of what really happended since they would not answer any of our questions as to why I ended up on the vent.